I remember that day when your name suddenly popped up in my head. I was at church at the time but my mind was wandering somewhere else. I was supposed to listen, to meditate on the sermon, yet my thoughts kept coming back to you.
It’s been a year since I last heard from you. No calls, no messages, nothing. I should have expected that since I was the one who blocked you. I thought I could live without ever talking to you again. I guess I was wrong, so I unblocked you.
When I got home, I rushed to my phone and slightly trembling typed “hey”. I was ready to hit send but I was kinda hesitating. What if you don’t reply? What if you’re busy, or worse – what if you ignore me? Those questions kept circling in my head. But my gut gathered all its remaining courage and finally pressed send.
I turned my phone face down because honestly, I didn’t know what to feel. My heart was beating so fast I could barely keep up. I buried my head in the pile of pillows, afraid that I might regret what I just did. Then suddenly, you replied and my heart skipped a beat.
Even though there was hesitation in your tone, you still responded with warmth. I found myself smiling so wide that my lips reached my ears. I missed this. I missed talking to you.
We spent the whole night catching up. You told me stories from the past year, and I told you mine. Words just flowed smoothly, as if there had never been a gap since our last conversation. It was dark outside, but all I saw were sunshines and butterflies.
I didn’t want that night to end. I just kept smiling and rereading our conversation. Everything felt so perfect. I didn’t even have a proper sleep because you were all I could think about.
Morning came, and I saw your good morning text. I immediately replied with the same message, and we chatted a little bit more – until you said: “Lasing na lasing ako kagabi, hindi ko na maalala mga pinagusapan natin.”
My world just shattered in that very moment.